How many arms do you have?

"Are you sure you don't need a bag?"

The man at the Whole Foods checkout counter looked at me with confusion.  Clearly, he thought I needed a bag to carry out all my grocery items this morning.  I had two cans of pumpkin puree (why not make another chocolate chip pumpkin loaf today?!), a large container of baby spinach, a birthday card, a four-pack of yogurt, two cucumbers, a dozen eggs and a gallon of whole milk.  Oh, and a non-fat chai latte, too.

But I have an aversion to using disposable bags, even paper ones, whenever possible.  (I do live in Portland, after all!)  And I was too lazy to walk back to my car and get my reusable bags.  So I loaded up my arms with all my goodies, grabbed the milk with one free hand and my latte with the other.  As I walked to my car, I was again thankful for my minivan's keyless entry so I didn't have to dig through my purse for keys.  I only needed one finger to pull open the door.  (And, yes, I do drive a minivan. I had to sell my Subaru wagon to become a minivan-driving-soccer-mom and have never looked back...thanks to keyless entry and the DVD entertainment system.  Don't judge.)

After driving home and putting things away, I finished (yet another) load of laundry.  While carrying the clothes hamper three flights upstairs from the basement laundry room to my third floor bedroom, I also picked up three stuffed animals, two discarded pairs of footed pajamas, a baby blanket and a pair of boots.  I deposited everything in the various rooms where it all belonged and then began the process in reverse -- bringing towels and linens to the basement and picking up things along the way.

I'm not sure if it is a mom trait or a female-only trait but sometimes I feel like I have more arms than my husband.  Or maybe than all men.  I remember walking up the stairs of my house, carrying my almost 2 year-old on my right hip and carrying a 4 month-old in my left arm while she was breastfeeding.  I'm pretty sure my husband can't do that.  (No offense, honey!)

I got to thinking this morning about the things we carry.

We carry groceries.

We carry laundry.  Never-ending loads of laundry.

We carry kids.  Both before and after birth.

We carry backpacks and soccer bags and dance costumes and school lunches.

We carry briefcases and work laptops.

We carry endless plates of food to/from the table and in/out of the dishwasher.

We carry donation items to Goodwill and other charities.

We carry cooked meals to our friends and neighbors when they are in need of some extra help.

We carry flowers to our own moms and Mother's Day and to our kids' teachers on Teacher Appreciation Day.

Additionally...

We carry our husbands/partners when they are going through difficult times at work.

We carry our parents when they are too old to care for themselves.

We carry our girlfriends when they are going through tough times in their lives.

We carry the fear that something will happen to our kids.

We carry ourselves across the finish lines of marathons or to the gym to squeeze in a workout.

We carry the guilt that we are never doing enough -- as a mom, as an employee, as a wife, as a neighbor, as a runner/cyclist/exercise-enthusiast or as a homemaker.  

I oftentimes struggle with being a stay-at-home mom.  I lose my patience almost daily with my toddlers. I crave the social camaraderie that comes with working in an office.  I miss feeling like I'm using my brain and education to their full potential.  I fear that I am going to fail.  I feel that I am lacking an identity.

And then I start thinking about all the things that I carry on a daily basis.  I try to imagine my family without me in it.  And it makes me feel important and necessary once again...and proud of my little arms.  (It also makes me think I must have more than two of them!)

The most important things I'll ever carry...

Of course, none of this would be possible without my family and friends carrying me when I need it.

And special thanks to this one...

What do you carry in your life?  Do you struggle with your identity?

I really was going to post today about the fact that my foot injury -- the one that kept me from running all summer long -- seems to be back again.  But talking about it might make it a reality.  So I'll just continue to be in denial for a little longer and hope for the best.  In the meantime, I had a great track workout last Friday (6 x 800 in the middle of a six mile run), an easy 7 on Saturday and a hard 10 mile progression run early Monday morning.  I was just starting to feel like I'm getting back in shape ready to kick-off Boston training and now I'm not sure how my foot is going to handle the increase in mileage and effort...

Happy Halloween!!!

- Kristen

Love-Hate Relationships

I had all kinds of productive thoughts swirling through my head at 5:30 this morning when I was in the middle of my 5 mile recovery run.  My morning was all planned out -- I was going to finish my run, wake the kids up and get them dressed/fed/off to preschool, make a green smoothie for breakfast, take a big pile of clothes to be donated and write a quick blog post.  All this was to be accomplished before picking the girls back up at 11:45am.  Easy, right?

Post-breakfast sisterly love

Love getting rid of things!

I was going to post about the start of my Boston marathon training or the lack of motivation I have to complete my home organization projects or how I am already feeling pressure to start my Christmas shopping.  (Most of this pressure comes in the form of daily stacks of catalogs delivered to my house with pictures of fully-decorated Christmas trees or wrapped presents on the front.  These catalogs cause me to forget the fact that it isn't even yet Halloween.)

After the run, however, I turned on my phone and the screen froze up into a bunch of squiggly black and white lines.  Like a miniature zebra screensaver.  Ugh.  Did I mention this was my new iPhone 5 that I have had for exactly three weeks?  Really, Apple?  All my plans went out the window...

Heading to the Apple store

After battling traffic to the downtown Apple store to get a new phone, the rest of the morning was spent trying unsuccessfully to restore my phone using a very recent backup.   Unfortunately, I accidentally deleted that backup and restored from a year-old backup instead.  Shortly thereafter, I realized that I had also deleted all of the pictures from my Italy trip that I had taken on my phone.  Fighting back tears, I just gave up and accepted my new phone for what it was.  Which is exactly like my old phone was a year ago...with no pictures of Italy.

I do love Apple products.  I'm typing this post on my MacBook.  I use my iPod nano when I run.  And I'm never without my iPhone.  But I can't count the number of hours I have spent syncing and backing up and downloading and restoring from one product to another over the years.  The benefit of Apple products is supposed to be their seamless integration with one another but somehow it has never worked that way for me.  So I also really hate Apple products.  Today, especially.

This got me thinking about other things that I both love and hate.  Last week I had a track workout and I can honestly say I have always had a love-hate relationship with the track.  I generally hate it when I'm doing it but love the results I get from it.  As much as I love marathons, there are certainly days when I dread heading out for a 20 mile training run in the rain and there are definitely times during the marathon itself when I swear I will never do another one.  However, within an hour of finishing a marathon, I am ready to sign up for the next one.  (Remind anyone of childbirth?)  I also love dense, flourless chocolate cake but hate it when I eat the whole cake.    I love wine but if I have too much, I definitely hate it the next day.  (I suppose a little impulse control would help with these last two...)

I know a lot of people have love-hate relationships with sports teams.  Or politicians.  Or their jobs.  Maybe even their spouses or kids(!!).  My husband has a love-hate relationship with our dog but that is mostly because he is the one who takes her for walks in the cold, windy rain and picks up after her.

What is there not to love about this face?!

In the end, I suppose having a complicated relationship with something or someone isn't necessarily a bad thing.  There really are very few things in life that are just black or white -- almost everything is a varying shade of gray.  Isn't that what makes life interesting?

I am looking at my running schedule now and see that Friday is another track day.  6 x 800's as part of a 6 mile run.  I know it will be hard.  I know I will want to quit.  And, at times, I will hate it.  But I also know how much faster and stronger it will ultimately make me as a runner, both physically and mentally.  So I suppose I will love it at the same time.  Or at least when it is over.

(And I will probably continue to buy Apple products, too.)

"If you never have a 'bad' day [running], you're probably doing something wrong; if you never have a 'good' day [running], you're definitely doing something wrong." - Mark Remy

Yesterday's workout was a 9 mile progression run (2 miles warm-up at 8:30, 3 miles at 7:30, 3 miles at 7:15 and 1 cool-down mile at 8:10) and I finished it before the kids woke up at 7am.  It was my longest run since the marathon and a sort of kick-off to my Boston training.  It left me energized and excited to have a goal to work towards once again.  Only 24 weeks to go!

Do you have a love-hate relationship with anything?  

- Kristen

Every Step Counts

Just in case the surprise trip to Italy wasn't enough of a 40th birthday present, my husband took the additional step of throwing a party for me last weekend with close friends and family.  I am actually someone who shies away from being the center of attention and was nervous as the party approached.  (You know those girls who grow up dreaming about their wedding day?  Envisioning their walk down the aisle with all heads turned towards them??  I was not that girl.  I actually hyperventilated before walking down the aisle and broke out in hives.  I think it comes down to not feeling deserving of the attention...but I digress.)  

Anyway, as Saturday night rolled around and my family started to arrive at our house for a little pre-party get together, I finally started to relax.  The glass of champagne might have helped with the anxiety but holding my 8 day-old niece was definitely the highlight of the afternoon.

She really makes me want another baby!

Once we were at the actual party and I had a glass of wine (or two), I was having a great time.  It was so fun to see all my friends in one place, catch up with everyone and enjoy some good food.  My husband worked with a caterer to plan a Spanish theme and we had the most amazing paella.

This picture doesn't do it justice -- I think the pan was about 3 feet wide!

Towards the end of the evening, a group of my friends gave me a gift.  It is a silver necklace filled with charms.  There are charms for each of my kids, one for my husband and me, and one that says happy 40th and has all their initials.  In addition to the charms with our names on them, there is a circle and a running shoe charm.  And the simple slogan Every Step Counts.  The charms can be removed and rearranged to suit your mood and here is one of the many possibilities:

If I had received this charm a few months ago, I am pretty sure this blog would have a different name.  I love that slogan.  It describes so much in life.  

We all have goals in our lives.  Some might be related to sports -- qualifying for the Boston marathon or completing a triathlon.  Some might be related to our careers -- getting a college degree or publishing a book.  And others might be more personal -- being a good mother or overcoming a hardship. 

No matter what our goals are, most of them take work to get there.  And, at times, our goals may seem impossible.  But as long as we keep working towards them, making little steps even, then we will get there eventually.  

"Hard things take time to do.  Impossible things take a little longer."  - Percy Cerutty

I am just starting to build up my running base again in preparation for Boston training.  It is frustrating and somewhat depressing to realize how much fitness I have lost in the three months since I ran the Newport marathon and injured my foot.  My foot isn't really bothering me anymore, though, so I have no excuse to not get back out there and get in shape.

Monday morning I ran 8 miles on a typically gray, dreary, wet Portland day.  It was my longest run since the marathon and I couldn't have been happier to be out there running and pushing myself, despite the weather.  It was a sort of progressive run with 2 easy miles, 2 miles at 7:45, 2 miles at 7:30 and ending with 2 easy miles.  I averaged 7:58 for the 8 miles and it felt much harder than it should have.  I followed up yesterday's run with a 5 mile run today at an average pace of 8:03.  Again, it felt a little harder than I expected but the sun was shining on my face and in my heart.  

Perfect day for running

I am so motivated and excited to dream big and find out what I am truly capable of doing.  I expect there to be 

good runs, 

bad runs, 

fast runs, 

slow runs, 

hard-as-hell runs where I desperately want to quit and 

days when I feel like I could run forever.  

I look forward to each of those runs as I know I will learn and grow with each one.  And I can believe in myself knowing that as I head out the door for each and every run, that every step counts.  

What are your goals and what steps are you taking to achieve them?

- Kristen

When in Rome...

Wow.  Where to begin?!

If you read my mystery trip post, you know my husband planned a surprise vacation for my birthday.  Even as he was checking in at the Delta counter for our flight, I still had no idea where we were headed.  It wasn't until we ran into some good friends at the airport that my husband finally disclosed our destination...we were going to ITALY!  (Oh, and the good friends that I "ran into"?  They were coming with us!)

I could detail our itinerary and fill paragraphs listing the museums, castles, churches, monuments and Tuscan hill towns we visited as well as the sculptures, paintings and incredible views we saw.  But the best way to summarize our trip is this:

We ate too much food.
We drank too much wine.
We slept too much.
And we ran too little.

All in all, it was a perfect vacation!  The Italians really know how to live.  Where else can you be served cake at breakfast, wine at lunch, handmade gnocchi at dinner, the best espresso imaginable at any time of the day and tirimasu for dessert?  Our theme of the trip was "When in Rome..." so we made sure to live like Italians as much as possible.

Pound cake, apple struedel and homemade donuts were just part of breakfast

Just one of the MANY bottles of wine we drank last week

Double espresso

Honestly, I am still shocked that my husband was able to pull off such a huge surprise and plan such an amazing vacation.  I am humbled that he would do so much for me.  And I am thankful for the help of our families in watching the three kids.

Eventually, our time in Italy was up and we returned home on Sunday.  We immediately rushed to the hospital to meet my newest niece who was just two days old. Then we spent some time with my visiting in-laws who flew to Portland from New York to help watch the kids while we were away.  They flew home this morning and now it is back to life as usual.  Except it feels a little different.

I find myself waking up each day more grateful than the day before.  Grateful for the health of my family.  Grateful for the sunshine that has been omnipresent in Portland for the last three months.

Berry picking one day in July

Grateful for the ability to run miles upon miles with a smile on my face.  Grateful for my husband, who never ceases to amaze me.

J in front of the Coliseum in Rome

Grateful for the precious little girl born just days ago to my brother and his fiance.

Almost makes me want to have another...

Grateful for the unconditional love my parents have always given to me.

Mom & Dad

Grateful for my kids who fill my heart with joy.  Grateful for friends who have been in my life for as long as I can remember.  Grateful for new friends that I have recently met.  Grateful for the beauty that surrounds us all.

I could go on forever...but the bottom line is that I am grateful for the life I have been given.

"Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have."  - Unknown

I am definitely happy.

- Kristen

The Mysterious Mystery Trip

I have surely mentioned at least once that I have a big birthday coming up soon.  And, no, it isn't the big 3-0.

I don't know what the school cutoff date was when I was entering kindergarten but somehow I am the youngest of almost all my friends.  The whole kindergartner redshirting trend had not yet begun when I was 5 years-old.  Because of this, I have witnessed many friends turn 40 this past year.  Not surprisingly, they have all survived unscathed.  No one has suddenly become covered in wrinkles, started wearing Depends or been pulled over for driving under the speed limit.  In fact, I think we are still a pretty good-looking bunch.  (Don't you just love how black & white pictures make everyone look better?!)

Okay, so maybe our wrinkles are covered by sunglasses

I really do get that this birthday isn't a big deal.  So much so, in fact, that when my (3 years-younger) husband asked me what I wanted for my birthday, my response was a new roller bag for traveling.  I really just wanted a new piece of luggage for our next trip to visit in-laws or a rare weekend getaway.

I wasn't surprised, then, when my husband presented me with my birthday gift.

A brand new roller bag!!

My enthusiasm was sincere when I jumped up from the couch to give him a big hug and get a closer look at the luggage.  I suppose I should have been a little suspicious about the fact that my birthday was still three weeks away...

When I opened the bag, it was empty with the exception of a note that read:

PACK ME!
Use these guidelines
* Pack enough for about 7 days
*For weather like California - about 70-75 daytime, 50's-60's night
*Swimsuit or 2
*Flip flops
*Running shoes & running clothes
*1 pair of fancier shoes/sandals
*Casual clothes - shorts, skirts/sundress, t-shirts
* Sweaters for night
* Good camera
* Lots of books/Kindle
* Sunglasses/sunhat?

Of course, the first words out of my mouth were, "Are the kids coming??!!"  And the glorious answer I heard was "Nope, just us."

Not that I don't love my kids but, well, you know how a family vacation differs from a couples retreat...  I am usually in need of another vacation after returning from a vacation with my toddlers.

All this happened late last week and now we are leaving for our mystery trip in just a few hours.  My parents are watching the kids for the first half of the week and my in-laws are flying in from New York for the second half.  I am all packed and ready to go...with no idea where we will end up!  I haven't been able to get much information out of anyone the past ten days.  Not that I haven't tried, believe me.  All I know is that we are flying and we will be at least one time zone away.  Not really a lot of info to go on, that's for sure.

It has been a long time since my husband and I went on a trip by ourselves, especially a week-long trip.  I am beyond excited and ready to go.  I would be happy going pretty much anywhere with him so there is no possible way that I will be disappointed.

Has anyone every surprised you with a trip?  Any guess as to where we are headed??

I know I mentioned in an earlier post that I was going to talk a little about my running but I need to find a way to zip up my overflowing roller bag...  

- Kristen

Happiness

A friend posted yesterday about things that make her happy.  She was inspired to write the post after reading a list that another friend made.  I can't think of a better thing to "go viral" than a list of what makes people happy!

Without further ado (and without much time left before the kids wake up), I'm going to see how many items I can get on my list before my day begins in earnest.

1.  Last night's sunset at my parent's house while celebrating my brother's big 3-0 birthday

the view while eating outside on a warm summer fall evening

2.  the quiet stillness of the morning after I've finished a run, everyone is still asleep and the possibilities of the day lie ahead just waiting to be discovered

3.  the sticky kisses I get from my little girls after eating syrupy pancakes

4.  coffee

5.  riding in the car with my son while he talks non-stop about school, his friends and his activities

6.  running on the trails of Forest Park

7.  finally relaxing on the couch with my husband after the kids are in bed, watching a show on netflix and just enjoying being together

8.  picnics on the front lawn

9.  watching my son read to his little sisters

10.  listening to Pandora and having spontaneous dance parties in the kitchen...then laughing hysterically as the kids try to imitate all my crazy dance moves

11.  sleeping late (or at least resting in bed) while my husband makes breakfast for the kids on sunday mornings

12.  lazy family bike rides

13.  watching how good my little brother is with his nieces and nephew and knowing how much joy awaits him when his first child (a daughter) is born next week

14.  going on a solo vacation with just my husband (more on that in a later post!) and being amazed at how much we love just being together

15.  Indian summer

16.  sitting on the floor with my dog's head in my lap

17.  knowing that we are stronger than we think we are

18.  taking the family to see my in-laws and extended family every summer and watching all the cousins play together

19.  seeing how happy my parents are after 43 years of marriage

20.  sitting on our porch swing at the end of a long day

Wow.  I made that list in just a few minutes and it brought so many great memories/thoughts to the forefront of my mind!  I could write an endless list of the things that make me happy -- I am thankful for so much in my life.

This may be a rare (never-happened-before kind of rare) day where I post twice.  I am determined to write again today about the Mystery Trip that I am going on tomorrow.  And since this is also supposed to be a blog about running, I may actually share some details on how my training is going.  :)

What makes you happy?    

- Kristen

10 Running-Related Personal Questions

I'm a little late to the party (not the first nor the last time) but am finally answering the 10 Running Related Personal Questions asked by Sarah Bowen Shea and Dimity McDowell.  If you aren't familiar with their books Run Like a Mother and the follow-up Train Like a Mother, you should check them out.  (You probably also need to get out a little more as I don't think I really know any mother runners who haven't read their books!)  SBS and Dimity posted the following questions on their website a couple of weeks ago and here are my responses:

1.  Best run ever:  Hmmmm...that is a hard one.  There are so many amazing runs that come to mind.  If I had to pick a common thread, I would say most of them took place on the same running trail in Forest Park.  I can think of many runs with girlfriends on that trail where the miles just flew by.  But mostly, I think of all the solo miles I have put in on that trail.  It is heavily forested and full of twists and turns.  It is definitely the one place where I feel most connected to my body, mind and spirit.  Although I do go to Mass as often as possible, it is the time spent running on trails where my love for life is renewed, my spirit is refreshed and my soul is rejuvenated.

One of the many trails in Forest Park

2.  Three words that describe my running:  Energizing.  Essential.  Challenging.

3.  My go-to running outfit is:  I'm currently loving my lululemon speed shorts.  I don't have an absolute favorite top but lately I keep reaching for my Athleta Kickit Wick-it Tank.  I recently switched shoes from Asics to Brooks Pure Flows.

4.  Quirky habit while running:  If wearing a Garmin or using a GPS app on my phone, I have to run a specific mileage amount that isn't between two different miles.  It can't be 6.4 miles, for example.  It always has to be at a round mileage amount -- I'll run that extra 0.6 miles to get it to 7.0 miles.

5.  Morning, midday, evening:  If I was answering this two or more months ago, I would say midday.  But I recently made the switch to a morning runner and LOVE having my workouts finished before the kids wake up.

6.  I won't run outside when it's:  Over 85 degrees.  Or maybe even over 80 degrees.  I seem to have a harder time with the heat than most other runners I know.  I think it is partly because I hardly break a sweat when I run -- my poor body keeps all the heat inside on hot days and my face turns beet red.  (Side note:  I ran a half-marathon with SBS a few years back and had commented beforehand that I don't really sweat.  I don't think she believed me until after the race when she was wringing out her shorts and there I was looking like I had spectated the race!)

Mile 18 of the Portland marathon...my hair is a little wet but I'm not sure if that is sweat or rain!

7.  Worst injury -- and how I got over it:  Tendinitis in my left foot.  I'm just now getting over it after taking the entire summer off from running (and basically everything else, too.)  I actually still don't feel 100% but can't pinpoint what is wrong with my foot anymore.  It just feels a little off and sore at times.

8.  I felt like a badass mother runner when:  I threw up at mile 4 of the Newport Marathon last June and went on to finish the race within two minutes of my PR, which was set when I was a much younger gal.  Knowing my family was there cheering me on -- my parents, husband and all three kids -- kept me going and feeling badass.

9.  Next race is:  The Boston Marathon is next up on my calendar but I'm hoping to run some shorter races before then.

10.  Potential running goal for 2013:  To run a sub 3:30 marathon.  I'm not sure Boston is the best course for reaching that goal so I may have to sign up for another (flatter and faster) race within a month or two of running Boston.

- Kristen

Boston or Bust

It is official.  I will soon be a Boston marathon finisher.

Can't wait to cross this line

I received confirmation on Friday that I will be running the Boston marathon on Patriot's Day next spring.  Yes, April 15th is a long ways away but I am already counting the months.  Seven, in case you are interested.  I made (refundable) hotel reservations this morning and booked (refundable) plane tickets using award miles.

Although I am 100% planning on running the race, I also know that life happens.  Injuries happen.  And the last thing I want to do is arrive at that start line at anything but 100% healthy and ready to run.  I did that once and it did not end well.

I was registered to run the 2003 NYC marathon and had been planning the trip for months.  Plane tickets and accommodations were already paid for and plans to meet up with friends had been made.  Unfortunately, a nagging IT band injury sidelined me for an entire month prior to the race.  Ultimately, I decided to travel to NY and start the race, knowing I would not be able to finish.

Anyone who has had to drop out of a race after months of training and anticipation knows the agony of walking off the course.  The disappointment in heading to the finish line to pick up your checked bag and seeing the hundreds (or thousands) of finishers milling around with mylar blankets wrapped around their shoulders and medals hanging around their necks.  It was such a miserable experience for me that I vowed I would never again start a race I knew I couldn't finish.

Pretending to smile while surrounded by finishers...

Okay, enough negative talk.  I really am planning on being at the finish in Boston with a medal around my neck and a smile on my face.

Although I have qualified for it in the past, running the Boston marathon has never been a priority of mine.  I had other events going on in my life that were more important to me at the time.  Planning my wedding.  Taking a trip to Argentina to visit my best friend.  Putting in the requisite hours to be successful at work.  Having (more) babies.

Now that I'm married, my best friend has moved back to the States, my new job is taking care of my kids and my baby-making days are over, it is finally time to see what the hype is all about.  I have heard so much about the screaming Wellesley women, the legendary Heartbreak Hill, the final turn on to Boylston Street before the finish and the storied history of the race that it is time to experience it myself.

Boston or bust.

Have you ever started a race you knew you couldn't finish?  Would you do it again?

Do you have a specific race on a bucket list?  

- Kristen

Remembering the 2001 MCM

Like other significant events in history, September 11, 2001, is a day that will never be forgotten.

I was not yet born when Hiroshima was bombed or when JFK was assassinated.  The first significant event I remember was when the Challenger blew up.  I was in 7th grade Social Studies class and we were watching the event live on television.

Fast forward 25 years and I was sitting on my couch in Durham, North Carolina, doing some studying before heading to my grad school classes.  I had the Today show on in the background and my 1 year-old son was playing quietly nearby.

I watched with horror as what initially looked like an accident turned out to be a series of incomprehensibly evil acts committed against thousands of innocent victims.  If I close my eyes, I can still picture the scenes of people who would rather jump out of a 100 story window than to stay and suffer any longer.  People with husbands, wives, children, dreams, hopes and plans for the future.  Those scenes are forever etched in my memory.

I remember picking my son up from the floor and holding him closer as my tears fell onto his soft, wispy, baby curls.  I remember a fear building up inside of me as I wondered what kind of a world he was going to grow up in.  What kind of a world had I brought this child into that human beings would bring this kind of destruction upon innocent victims?

The television coverage continued and we saw hundreds upon hundreds of people running from the buildings, covered in dirt, dust, blood and tears.  As the day wore on, however, we also saw images of hundreds upon hundreds of police and firemen running towards the buildings and into harm's way.  My heart broke for the countless thousands of people who lost their lives that day and for their families.  But it also swelled with pride for the unbelievable acts of courage and heroism that were displayed that same day.

As it so happened, I was just six weeks from running the Marine Corps Marathon on that day.  In the weeks that followed, there was a lot of talk about canceling the MCM and possibly the NYC marathon.  Ultimately, it was decided both races would go on, partly as an effort to show that we were stronger than the fear that filled us.

The start of the MCM was crowded with marines who were carrying American flags and planned to do so for the entire 26.2 miles.  Spectators were holding signs in support of the USA.  I could feel the emotion of everyone around me and the tears were flowing freely during the singing of the Star Spangled Banner.  This was going to be an unforgettable day.

The  route actually runs right along the Pentagon for a stretch of the race.  From miles 4-6, we were a mere 50 yards from the point of impact.  There were no spectators allowed on this part of the course and I remember it being eerily quiet.  I looked to my right and there was the Pentagon with a huge hole in it.  No one could take their eyes off of it and all I could hear was the sound of shoes hitting the pavement and the beating of my own heart.

The only thing that broke the silence during those two miles was the non-stop chanting of USA, USA, USA as we would run beneath an overpass.  The cheers echoed and once out of the tunnel, all would go silent again.

None of us who were alive that fateful day in September 2001 will ever forget it.  And those of us who ran the MCM in October 2001 will not forget that experience, either.  It was a day of triumph.  A day of remembrance.  A day of patriotism.  And a day when I hugged my son even tighter at the finish line and knew that life would go on.

But I would never forget.

- Kristen

My week in pictures...

Although my son starts 7th grade today, my little girls don't go back to their (very limited) preschool schedule until tomorrow.  As much as I'd really like to put some words on paper today, I just can't do it unless I want to subject myself to to non-stop fighting, screaming and crying while I type.  I decided I'm not up for that much drama this morning so I thought I would just post a few pictures from the past weekend, including our one night trip to the Oregon coast.

My three loves

 

I found a use for all those ripe tomatoes...chickpeas, tomatoes and tofu just before roasting

Funny faces

A rarity -- a picture with me in it!

Love this one

Running on the beach

My boys

Beautiful sunset on the second-to-last night of summer...

The drive home

I'm really looking forward to school starting and getting into a rhythm again.  As much as I love summer, I also enjoy the predictability that begins when school starts.  College football, soccer games, early mornings spent rushing everyone out the door, school functions, cooler days, fall races...and the realization that we are all getting older with each new year.  Okay, so maybe I don't enjoy that last one so much...

I have a lot on my mind that I keep putting on the back burner until school is back in session and I have some time to process it all.  Until then, I'll just continue to carry the weight of the world (or at least my family) on my shoulders!

Did you do anything special/fun for the Labor Day weekend?

Are you looking forward to school starting or will you miss the lazy (ha!) days of summer?

- Kristen

Undivided Attention

First, as a follow up to a post from a week ago where I committed to becoming an early morning runner, I'd just like to (proudly) say that I have been rolling out of bed in the pre-dawn hours to get my runs in for the past week.  And I love it!!  Granted, my runs have been very short, slow runs as I'm just getting back to running post-injury.  It may not be as easy to get up when I have an 8-10 mile tempo run and need to be done by the time my husband leaves for work at 5:45am.  But I'm determined to stick with it as it is so worth it to have my workout done before the kids wake up.  There's nothing quite like returning to a quiet house, making a cup of coffee and doing a few stretches while the sun's rays are just beginning to peek through the curtains.  I'm hooked!

Of course, having some new kicks always helps, too!  I was an avid Asics fan for the past several years and just recently made the switch to Brooks.  My latest shoes are the Pure Flows and I am loving them. They are very lightweight shoes with minimal heel to toe drop (4mm) and are oh-so-comfortable!  Some reviewers say the shoes wear out quickly but mine are still fairly new so I can't tell yet how many miles I will get out of them.  I love the color, too!

Okay, now back to the original intent of my post -- Undivided Attention.  With an almost-teenager and two toddlers in the house (plus a husband and chocolate lab), there is always someone in my house who needs me for something.  I am constantly making food for someone, feeding someone else and cleaning up after everyone.  Not to mention doing the laundry, taking the dog out, organizing school/camp activities, hiring babysitters and trying to squeeze in my workouts (thus, the switch to early morning running!)

I often feel like I am never really giving anyone or anything my full attention.  (As I type this, I'm downloading pictures from my camera and doing stretches...)  What a surprise it is that I find my toddlers fighting. All. The. Time.

With this being the last full week of summer and all three kids going back to some sort of school/pre-school next week, I decided to make today just about the kids.  Well, my older son is out playing lacrosse so really it was just me and the girls.  I spent a good part of the morning doing art with them -- tracing their hands and drawing colored fingernails on them.  Then they got dressed in their outfits of choice which, of course, entailed rain boots despite the gorgeous, sunny weather.  Finally, we left the house to go for a "hike".

Our "hike" ended up being downtown on the waterfront instead of my favorite running trails.  They both wanted to see some water and I figured any place outside was fine with me.  I captured some fun pictures with my camera while simply enjoying just being with them.

I am not one who thinks I need to entertain my kids all the time -- I think being able to play with each other or by themselves is important -- but it also made me realize how little time I really devote to just being with them.  Being present.  Really listening to them.  I am filled with wonder, laughter, gratitude and happiness every time I really am present with them.  And, not surprisingly, the fighting stops completely when I'm by their side!  When I stop to think about all of this, I wonder why I can't find the time to do it more often.  In part it is because after a little while, someone is bound to become hungry.  Then the food-making, eating and kitchen clean-up cycle begins again!

But for a little while, when they had my undivided attention, it sure was peaceful and happy in our house and in our hearts.

How do you balance all the daily demands in your life and still spend quality time with your kids?  

- Kristen

Back in the Saddle Again (sort of)

Finally, after almost 12 weeks of no running, I'm just now trying to get back in the (running) saddle again.  I can't say my foot is really better yet but I guess I'm starting to feel like this may be the new normal for me.  I have rested and iced my foot, worn a walking boot, taken massive amounts of ibuprofen and even gotten a cortisone shot (which I since regret) and still it doesn't feel 100%.  The most frustrating part is that I don't feel like I have a very clear diagnosis of what is wrong or much of a path to recovery.

It all started the week before my marathon when I went to buy new running shoes for my race.  Just as I was leaving the store, I happened to mention something about all the toenails that I had lost during my training cycle.  The guy helping me with the shoes suggested I try tying my shoes in a different way that would keep my foot from slipping forward.  He showed me this new method and I could feel it pulling my shoe nice and tight over the top of my foot.  I put about 20 miles on the new shoes over the course of a week before my race and all felt fine.

The morning of the race, I was sure to tie my shoes with this new method and pulled them tight over my foot.  Yes, I should know better than to try anything new on race day/week!!!  Anyway, my foot felt fine during the race and I even felt great the day after the marathon.  In fact, I felt so great that I decided I would sign up for another marathon that was just a month later.  And in order to get started on my training right away, I went out for a 6 mile run just two days after my marathon.

Within 1-2 miles of starting out on my run, the top of my left foot began to hurt.  It was at this time that I did the second really stupid thing in a week -- I forced myself to finish my planned 6 miles.  By the end, my foot really hurt and that was the beginning of the end of my big plans for capitalizing on all my spring training and running a bunch of summer/fall races.

Fast forward 12 weeks.  The top of my foot now feels all tingly whenever I touch it, which I'm guessing is the result of the cortisone shot.  And now when I run, my foot/ankle just doesn't feel right -- it doesn't hurt -- but something about it feels a little off.

However, I have Boston 2013 in my sights and have to start building my base from nothing in order to start really training by December.  So I'm doing my best to build VERY slowly and get back running again.  I have run a total of 4 miles this week.  Two 1/2 mile runs and three 1 mile runs.  Yep, I get all dressed to go and run 1 mile!!  With so many friends running Hood to Coast this weekend, it is tough to be sidelined and not out there in a hot, sweaty van with 5 other girls.  But at least I'm putting one foot in front of the other and trying to get back in running shape.

Sadly, I'm sure I'm not alone in having to take a lot of time off and recover from an injury.

What is the worst running-related injury you have sustained and how much time did you take off from running?

Have you had any good/bad experiences with cortisone?  I, for one, wouldn't do it again and wish I had done some research before getting the shot...!

- Kristen

Dog Days of Summer

All over Facebook, my friends across the country have started posting their back-to-school pics.  You know the ones -- the pics of their cute kids standing at the front door of the house, fully-loaded backpacks on their backs and big smiles on their faces.  Although we still have two weeks of summer left here in Portland, all the back-to-school pics have made me realize school is just around the corner for us, too.

The end of summer is always such a bittersweet time.  In some ways, I look forward to school starting again.  Everyone will be back on their usual and predictable schedule.  I'll run into all the moms and dads at school functions that I haven't seen in almost three months.  My son (12) begins his fall soccer season.  My older daughter (3.5) starts her first ballet and soccer classes.  My younger daughter (2) will continue to learn and grow at her Montessori preschool.  The trees turn gorgeous shades of red and yellow that light up the streets at twilight, making perfect vistas for an early evening run.  And my husband will begin his annual love/hate relationship with Notre Dame football.

But it is also a time of reflection.  Did we have enough lazy mornings eating pancakes in our pajamas?  Did we do any spontaneous activities like driving to the beach for an afternoon or having a picnic in the park?  Did we go to the pool enough times?  How many family vacations did we take?  Did we enjoy every moment of sunshine that we possibly could?  (Here in Oregon, we pretty much HAVE to enjoy all of our sunshine because we won't see it again until next summer...I feel guilty if I do anything indoors when the sun is shining!)  But the biggest point of reflection for me usually has to do with my relationship with my kids.  Did I give enough of myself to them over the summer?

This summer was a challenging one for me because of the injury to my foot (extensor tendinitis).  It has kept me off the running trails the entire summer.  It has also kept me from doing just about any activity on my feet.  For someone that thrives on the endorphins released during/after a hard run and looks forward with anticipation to long trail runs, it has been mentally (and physically) very tough.  At the same time, it has made me realize how much time my running usually takes up each day.  I never have been an early morning runner.  My runs generally take place on Mondays through Thursdays between 8:30-11:30am.  (Plus a run on the weekends when my husband watches the kids.)  Not coincidentally, those are the hours my youngest kids are in preschool.  What it also means, however, is that all of my "free" time is spent running.

A new school year signifies a new beginning, similar to a new calendar year.  So I am making a new (school) year resolution!  I resolve to become an early morning runner.  There.  I said it.  I have so many excuses for not running early in the morning.  1) It means getting 1-2 less hours of sleep in the morning.  2) I really have a hard time pushing myself to do a "hard" workout right when I wake up.  3) I am worried about running in the dark.

However, despite my excuses, I can picture myself finished with a run by 5:45am (the time my husband leaves for work) and still having an hour to myself before the kids wake up.  I'll get to shower, drink coffee and maybe even read an email or two.  All before 7am!  And it will mean I still have time to do a few things for the family when everyone else is at school.  Grocery shop, begin preparing dinner and do all the things required to run a family.

I can't wait!  Huge thanks to Dorothy at Mile Posts for being my inspiration today.  :)

What about you?  Do you run in the morning?  If so, how long did it take to make it a habit?

- Kristen

It's Not Easy Being Green

I wanted to use that title in honor of Kermit the Frog.  But in reality, I have found it so easy to be green!  And I'm not talking about the reduce, reuse and recycle-type green, although I do believe that is also very easy to do.  This time I'm talking about green smoothies!

I bought a Vitamix at Costco a couple of weeks ago and I have been obsessed with using it ever since.  I thought I would make maybe one smoothie a day at most.  Nope.  I have been making at least three smoothies every day and if it weren't for my husband and kids wanting to eat "real food" every once in a while, I probably would be making smoothies for dinner, too!

We get a big bin delivered every Thursday filled with fresh, organic vegetables from a farm in Salem.  When it first started arriving about six weeks ago, we never seemed to eat all the veggies in the bin.  Every week I would end up composting wilted red leaf lettuce, radishes and kale to make room for the new delivery.  It wasn't that we weren't eating the vegetables but that we couldn't possibly eat them all.  Enter the Vitamix.  I will put almost anything that arrives in the bin into a smoothie.  Last week I put something called a kohlrabi in my smoothie.  No idea what a kohlrabi is but it arrived in the bin so I promptly chopped it up and threw it in the Vitamix!  Now I find myself having to buy extra vegetables every week because our weekly delivery isn't nearly enough.  And I couldn't be happier about it.  :)

The best part of my new favorite food/drink is that all the kids love the smoothies, too.  I can make a smoothie with celery, kale, cabbage and spinach along with a banana and a few frozen strawberries then sit back and watch as my toddlers guzzle it down!  I have been amazed at the things they love to drink in smoothies.

I realize I may be late to the smoothie/juicing craze but I am so glad I finally joined the party.  Here's a before pic of my banana, peach, celery and kale breakfast smoothie that I shared with the kids:

And here is the after pic:

If nothing else, this smoothie obsession has been a fun distraction from the fact that I still can't run.  And I can probably credit my smoothies with keeping me in my current size clothes while I sit around and do nothing all day.  Ha!

What about you?  Are you a green smoothie drinker?  Or a juicer?  What is your favorite recipe?  

- Kristen

You Gotta Start Somewhere

I am new to this whole blogging thing.  It wasn't until a few months ago that I even started subscribing to and reading blogs.  But the more blogs I found, the more I knew I wanted to start my own!  There is something about reading what other (mostly women runners) write on their blogs that made me realize what a great outlet a blog can be for getting out emotions, connecting with others and putting goals on "paper".  I have loved hearing other people's stories about picking a challenging goal and then putting in the hard miles and training runs to realize their goals.  I have also loved reading about their personal lives -- fun family vacations, frustrating mornings with toddlers, the balance of work/family/exercise, exciting milestones in their or their children's lives and the little things that make up all our days.

So this is my starting point -- everyone has to start somewhere, right?!

I can't predict exactly where this blog will go from here but I hope to share many of the same things that others have shared in discussing my life, family, running, goals and dreams.

One of my first goals is to simply get back to running.  I ran the Newport Marathon (in Newport, Oregon) on June 2nd of this year and have been injured ever since that day.  I have what is called extensor tendinitis in my left foot.  After putting in so many miles and never really having any injuries, this is new territory for me.  The most frustrating part of it all is that the tendinitis was supposedly caused by my *stupidly* tying my shoelaces differently for the marathon.  I should know better than to try something new right before a big race!  It pulled the laces tight across the top of my foot and caused the tendinitis that I just can't seem to get rid of, even after two months of almost NO running, a cortisone shot on the top of my foot and daily icing.  I'm really trying hard to nip this in the bud as I have to start running again in another month or so to begin training for my next marathon...

Speaking of my next marathon, I am planning to run Boston in April 2013 and will be so disappointed if this injury keeps me from realizing that dream.  I have qualified for Boston several times in the past and have never actually run it.  But I have a big birthday coming up in a couple of months (yikes!) and want to run Boston as part of my celebration of turning 40.  But even more important than running Boston, this injury has made me realize just how much running means to me.  There are so many things that I love about running that it will have to be saved for another (or many more) posts.  Let's just say I hope to be running for the rest of my life so right now I'm just trying to balance my near-term goal of Boston with my long-term goal of a life spent running.  In order to do this, I'm really taking it easy but it is hard to do...especially since I live in Portland, Oregon.  Here in Portland, we run in the rain, sleet, mist, fog and generally gray days for nine months of the year and, as a reward, are able to run in the gorgeous Portland summer.  It is so hard to wake up every day to beautiful weather and not be able to run on my favorite trails or my well-worn neighborhood routes!

Because I have never suffered from any injury, I have always taken my health and my running for granted.  Warm-up and cool-downs -- what's that?  Cross-training -- who has the time?  Stretching -- ha!  I would like to say that I will become more respectful of my body and my limitations once my foot is completely healed.  And that I will never take running for granted again.  At the same time, I feel like the clock is ticking and that any future PR's will start to slip away after I turn 40.  I have never really challenged myself to see what I am capable of doing and hate to think my best days might be behind me.  Has anyone set PR's past 40??  I hope so!

Okay, I think that's it for today.  As I'm typing, I'm simultaneously watching the USA women's soccer team in a semi-final match against Canada.  After two extra periods, it is about to go to penalty kicks to resolve the tie.  So I'm getting distracted!  Thanks to anyone who is reading this -- not that I think anyone is out there yet.  :)

USA just scored with 30 seconds to go in the final period!!!  Wahoo!

- Kristen